29 Sep When You Know Your Loved One Needs Counselling
If you can see that your loved one needs counselling, here are some pointers on how you can convince them to do so.
Every single person in the world has problems in life. Some problems can be solved on our own and for others we may need help either from family, friends or a professional. It is very important for us to communicate this with our loved ones.
How to Know They Need Help?
The first step is to identify the seriousness of the problem. Has the behavior of your loved one changed drastically? Does it affect their daily life? If they lack motivation to work, are burning bridges with friends and relatives, avoid meeting people, tend to get angry or violent, are depressed or are unable to maintain personal hygiene, it could be a sign that they need help.
How to Approach Them?
Telling someone they need counselling is a very tricky business. Most of the times such suggestions are met with defensive or even offensive reactions. No one likes to be told they cannot handle their problems themselves. Let them know that seeking counselling is not a sign of weakness. It is in fact, the brave thing to do as you are facing your troubles head on.
The important thing to remember here is to first show love, empathy and support. Tell them that you care for them and want to see them happy in life and that some problems might be preventing them from growing as a person. Seeking help would be a great way to overcome tough obstacles.
Many people wrongly take counselling as a sign that they are mentally unfit. This is a myth. Counselling is a technique that systematically helps guide a person to find their own best solution.
Also make sure they know that they are not a problem that you are handing over to someone else to deal with. You can work as a team together to get past all the problems.
Dealing with Denial
Some people do not believe they have a problem. In that case stating clear cut facts helps them see it clearly. For example, the number of jobs they have changed or friends they have lost, or drinks they have in one day. However, facts can be pretty hard hitting, so be gentle and show your concern and love. Use statements with ‘I’ rather than ‘you’. For example, “I am worried about your health.” “I would feel better if you did this.” This helps prevent defensiveness from their side.
Some may claim that they can deal with their problems themselves. Ask them, do we deal with an infection or tumour ourselves? No. We need a doctor sometimes to help us through. Counselling works the same way but for difficult situations instead of physical ailments.
Convincing Them to Take a Step
Finally, show them how their behavior is affecting their near and dear ones. Ask them to take this step for their kids or partner, if not for themselves. At times, love for others becomes the best motivation for one to improve.
Tell them to take it a step at a time. Ask them to try just one session of counselling and to see if it helps. If the counsellor is good, they will continue with the therapy. Give them a little nudge by calling the counsellor yourself or watch them take an appointment in front of you. If you think they may back out the last minute, take them to the counsellor yourself to support them.
Counselling is Important for You Too !!
Learning how to deal with a person who has problems is as important as that person seeking counselling. Moreover, it is possible that we could be causing the problem for them unintentionally. So it is essential for us too to seek guidance on how to deal correctly with our loved ones.
Lastly, getting the right kind of counsellor is the most important step forward. So if you or your loved one is looking for guidance visit www.mysteriesofemotions.com for further details.